Best win casino

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Its poker room is right below megaclub TAO. All those drunk, sexually frustrated guys pouring down the two-storey escalator?

They're coming to play poker against you. You can beat 'em. Vegas casinos serve free booze to all gamblers.

So, if you're planning to get plastered, do it before you hit the clubs. You'll find the best complimentary casino drinks at the Wynn, as it offers gamblers free mojitos and brand name tequila.

Just remember to tip your waitress a dollar a drink. Oh, while you're here, stop by the Koi Pond. A Koi is like a big, sensitive, fanged goldfish, and a koi pond is the aquatic equivalent of a rock garden.

It's the most relaxing room in the Strip, but nobody knows about it — not even the locals. The Cosmopolitan is the newest and swankiest hotel on the Strip.

It's the one that looks like the Wynn, if the Wynn were bedazzled by Liberace. As long as you're gambling away your hard-earned cash, you might as well do it alongside the pretty and the powerful.

Oh, and if you're gambling at the Cosmo on a Friday, Saturday or Monday night, do it at a table below the elevator that leads up to Marquee, the hottest club on the strip; this is the best people-watching spot in Vegas.

More affordable people-watching destinations include Kokomo's Lounge at Mirage and the coffee shop at Wynn. Every casino has a Circle Bar. Usually right in the middle.

This place, not the club, is where you want to make new friends. So if you're being pestered by a drunk weirdo — this will happen — he'll be out of your way soon.

The only casino-goers who never visit Circle Bars are locals. And you can't befriend locals. They come to the strip for business; they seem like they're on the strip to have fun, but that's part of their business.

Best casino Circle Bars: If you want to gamble but don't know anything about gambling, play craps. If everybody starts cheering, you've won.

If everybody gets quiet, you've lost. But if you play that, it'll piss the other players off. Tell them you went to college at the University of Michigan — see what happens!

Casinos give free stuff to high rollers — that's no secret. But it's hard for casinos to track exactly how much a player gambles.

One good way to make a casino think you're planning to gamble away a fortune is to take out a huge marker. That'll get the casino host's attention.

And who knows, you might get offered a free room, a free meal, and free show tickets; or at worst, you'll feel like a big shot. A blackjack player who visits Vegas all the time recently told me that Mandalay Bay has been generous with room comps the past couple months.

So give 'em a call and see what deals they've got going right now. Try as we might, we Americans just can't match our European counterparts when it comes to sports hooliganism.

But what we lack in aggressiveness we make up for in financial recklessness. For us, betting on sport is like driving 10 miles over the speed limit.

It's illegal, but everybody and their grandmother does it. In Vegas, though, sport betting is not illegal. Your chances are terrible.

At some casinos, the house has a 35 percent edge. No gambler has ever matched all 20 numbers on a spot ticket.

The odds of it ever happening are 1 in 3,,,,,, Typically, the house has only a 0. The pay table is posted right on the machine, and the payoff is high.

To cash out, you need to play at an expert level. Casinos make the games with the lousiest odds the most attractive by amping them up with flashing lights and bright colors.

So as a general rule, to better your odds, stick to the drab side of the room. Casinos want you to lose track of time so you play for as long as possible.

Some casinos prohibit dealers from wearing watches for that reason. The truth is, nothing is free—and that includes the free booze. The worse your odds, the better your chances of landing a free drink.

Identify the clumsiest dealers. Keep your eyes on the prize. Know when to say when. Exploit the laws of nature.

Go big or go broke. Stay away from the light. Invest in a nice watch.

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